Are you struggling to convince people, to get them to say yes, this book by D. Carnegie might be for you.
D. Carnegie proposes a catalogue of tips and tricks to better deal with people, including how to make people like you, how to win people to your way of thinking and, how to be a leader. These range from very simple things like smiling, to more skilful techniques such as asking questions instead of arguing (the Socratic method).
Dale Carnegie (1888 – 1955) pioneered “self-help”, and this book, published in 1936, is one of the first in the genre, and ever since a best seller. D. Carnegie had an early interest in public speaking and started selling various things, from correspondence courses, soap and lard. He then tried acting, before he succeeded in teaching public speaking and self-confidence.
This is a catalogue where each chapter is short, self-contained and focuses on one technique. Each technique is illustrated and backed-up by stories of Carnegie’s former students, who eventually succeed and, arguably, saw changes in their life or career. While Dale’s arguments make sense and these stories entertained, I missed stronger evidence. I like however the catalogue format because it makes it easy to come back to specific techniques. Eventually, all this smiling, praising, avoiding arguments, getting people to talk about their interests, avoiding criticism, etc. sounded to me like being manipulative and insincere. Can we do all this sincerely?.
Soft skills are not my strong suit and I am left with the impression that is is an easy read (and win) for the ignorants—like me. I would not recommend it to the pros.
Finally, I give this book three stars. I went through easily without self-flagellation and even noted down some techniques, but I eventually moved on to other things.